This is the ninth of ten columns published by Walter C. Wright, Jr., summarizing the message of
Max De Pree’s
Leadership Jazz

"Staying in Tune"

Column 9 on Max De Pree's Leadership Jazz
April

Staying in tune.

In the 1980s Max De Pree was at the top of his game – CEO and Chairman of Herman Miller, the Fortune 500 manufacturer of home and office furniture systems.  His books, Leadership is an Art, and Leadership Jazz became international bestsellers among management reading.  He was widely recognized as the highly successful leader of one of the best companies to work for in the United States.  Management texts regularly lifted Max up as a model for values based relational leadership.  Many of us were encouraged by his example.

During this time several of us approached Max about mentoring us in our leadership development, launching what Max calls “a new career” in his life.  Little did I know that this would be a relationship spanning three decades with implications much wider than the narrow focus of my “career”.  As Max De Pree suggests in Leadership Jazz, mentoring or “polishing gifts” is about life and potential.  Career is only one piece of a life.  Several truths emerge from these chapters that have been reinforced in my twenty-five year mentoring relationship with Max.

Mentoring is about polishing one’s gifts to reach his or her potential on the journey of life. 

It includes the development of leadership ability but embraces all of the passages of life from which we learn and grow.

Mentoring is self-directed learning. 

It is the responsibility of the mentoree – a way of designing how we will work toward our potential.  We choose mentors from whom we believe we can learn and to whom we are prepared to be held accountable for our personal growth.  While mentors may walk into our lives with encouragement, wisdom and direction, it is not a mentoring relationship until we accept responsibility for our growth and act.  The mentoree manages the relationship as a strategy for staying in tune and polishing gifts.  Some have said that one measure of leadership potential is the ability to recruit mentors and grow with them.

Mentoring starts with legacy. 

Who do you intend to be?  What is meaningful to us?  What kind of legacy do I want to leave?  Mentors ask these questions and help us tune our thinking about purpose and potential.  Our answers guide us in choosing other mentors to work with us in specific areas.

Mentoring is about working together. 

It is about polishing the gifts the mentoree wants to work on.  Mentors do not do the work for us.  Nor do they tell us who to be.  They affirm, encourage and share from their experience, creating the space for amateurs to learn.

Mentoring, like leadership, is for amateurs. 

By this Max is suggesting that mentoring is a work of love.  Amateurs do what they do because they love it.  And of course Max notes that leaders are amateurs learning how to do their work as they grow in responsibility.  He often says that being appointed to a leadership position does not make you a leader.  It merely provides you opportunity to learn how to become a leader.  Amateurs are fast learners.  We are amateurs living lives shaped by our passions, love, commitments and understanding of what is important.  Mentors come alongside and ask us the questions that encourage us to fine tune our lives, polish our gifts and reach our potential.

Mentoring increases risk, because it leads to learning. 

Learning takes us into new realms of thought, feeling or action.  It leads to growth which usually requires change in some form.  And that always feels risky.  Yet it is the risk of growth – learning and change – that leads to achieving our potential – to becoming the person we intend to be.  Mentors walk with us for portions of life’s journey polishing our gifts and enriching our legacy.

Mentoring, like all relationships, starts small. 

If you are not actively working with one or more mentors, I would encourage you to start.  But start small.  Don’t ask someone to be your mentor immediately.  It is too intimidating; it sounds like too much commitment before a relationship is established.  Asking someone to be your mentor at the first encounter is like asking for marriage on the first date.  Drop the “M” word until the relationship has matured to a place that it feels like the right way for both persons to describe it.  When you know what you want to work on, identify someone whose experience in this area you respect.  Invite them to lunch (and pay for it) to talk with them about the issue.  Ask them questions; get them to share their experience.  Invite them to ask you questions to help you think about your own development in this area, e.g. “What questions should I be thinking about if I want to grow in this area?”  If the lunch goes well and you think you can learn from their wisdom, experience and questions, ask for another lunch.  Some relationships will continue for years as mine has with Max.  Others will last for one or two lunches, or a short piece of your journey.  Take it one step at a time as long as it helps you keep turning your life and polishing your gifts.  That is how it works.  Mentoring is what you call the relationship when you look back on it after some time. 

Questions for reflection:

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